you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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