I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
