The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
If that was your dad, he is hot
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
