with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
