Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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