Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My dick has a subreddit
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
