Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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