party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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