He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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