We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
