4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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