At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
