What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
