I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
