How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I will pee on everything he values.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
