I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
