i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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