Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
