I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
