AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
handjob tips. give me some.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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