Just cropdusted the office
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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