I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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