I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I have aggressive nipples.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
