Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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