And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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