Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You're like the curious george of whores
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
