I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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