your parents love me but you hate me
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
