Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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