Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
