its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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