The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
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Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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