i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
