yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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