D3 body, D1 cock
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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