it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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