I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
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id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
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We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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