im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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