Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
