I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
