You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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