I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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