i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Randomize
