I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We just shotgunned beers for America
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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