the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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