Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
