I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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