grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
