omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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