it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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