no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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