I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
