We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
