I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
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