I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize