"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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