just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
