i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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