I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
