Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
