apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
