just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
