i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
