woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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