So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
