Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
