HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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