I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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