Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
