What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
