I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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