i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
