you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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