we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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